This Is YouTube Poop (2016)
This Is YouTube Poop 2016 was the second This Is YouTube Poop event, held on December 18, 2016. The show was highlighted by Brock Lesnar taking on The Shark in a First Blood match, Dynamite Derek defending the World Heavyweight Championship against "Macho Man" Randy Savage, and Ben Unhinged facing J-Pac in a Hardcore match with Mick Foley as the guest referee. __TOC__ Background In the highly-anticipated World Heavyweight Championship main event of It Ain't Me, Brock Lesnar looked to be closing in on capturing the coveted title from Dynamite Derek. However, these efforts were thwarted by an appearance by the monstrosity known as The Shark. Naturally, this unprecedented attack left Lesnar's manager, Walter P. Wiley, demanding answers. In so many words, The Shark made it clear that there was only enough room in this pond for one big fish and declared himself the top of the food chain. Brock Lesnar, on the other hand, refused to go down without a fight and declared This Is YouTube Poop open season for shark hunting. Walter proclaimed that his suplex specialist could take on this carnivorous competitor in any kind of match and suck him down like a bag of gummy sharks. With that in mind, the decision will be put in the hands of the popular vote. Will Brock Lesnar go fist-to-fin against The Shark in a Last Man Standing match, a First Blood match, or a TLC match? The decision is in your hands! The Mullet Club first established themselves as a force to be reckoned with at Memorial Day Madness, targeting World Heavyweight Champion Dynamite Derek. Given their mission statement of returning their industry to its glory days, it was inevitable that the title-holder would have a massive target on his back. Macho Man promised that under his reign as champion that lazy millennials like Dynamite Derek will never represent the gold again. Alternatively, Scott Hall ensured that he would beat some respect into the defending champion if he had the opportunity to challenge for the title. The third option came from the offbeat Scott Steiner, who took the opportunity to disparagingly refer to any of his potential future opponents as "Sugartits" and dubbed himself "Big Poppa Breast Pump." With their platforms well-established, the decision was turned over to the voters to decide which member of the malevolent Mullet Club would challenge Dynamite Derek for the World Heavyweight Championship at This Is YouTube Poop. This nostalgic tandem has proven to be successful thus far as a unit, but with the numbers not in their favor, will they be able to wrangle the top prize in SvR06 into their ranks? After much contention, Ben Unhinged eventually gave J-Pac what he wanted and faced him in a high-profile match-up. But rather than settle the differences between these two friends, Ben's behavior after his victory only seemed to fan the flames of dissent. J-Pac would later call Ben to the ring to do the right thing and shake his hand like a man. Once again, Ben was hesitant to even address the quarrel between the two but J-Pac insisted on setting a positive example. When Ben eventually extended his hand to officially bury the hatchet, J-Pac shook it and then used his other hand to attach handcuffs to his wrist while attaching the other end to the ring post. As Ben struggled in bewilderment, J-Pac calmly picked up a steel chair and began to lecture his friend on what friendship was really about. Loyalty, respect, selflessness in times of need. He noted that friends don't capitalize on the misfortunes of friends to further their own career, like Ben has from he and Dynamite Derek both. Friends don't throw closed fists in a friendly scrimmage and then act surprised whenever their friend shoves back, which J-Pac also took exception to the hypocrisy of the fans of cheered Ben's aggressive behavior but not his own. Pointing out that he missed out on nearly a year of his career due to injury, he was especially displeased that Ben would do something that could potentially put him on the shelf and hinder him from being able to provide for his household. He also revealed that he was never attaccked by Brock Lesnar, but rather he fabricated the incident with the knowledge that Ben would go after Brock and end up taking a beating, ideally giving J-Pac the advantage in their Triple Threat match. With his diatribe at an end, J-Pac told Ben that it was for these reasons and many more that he had to set a positive example. That is a positive example of what to do to a parasitic, disloyal friend. At this point, the calm demeanor of the stoic Infinity Kid crumbled away and a barrage of steel chair shots reigned upon Ben's restrained hand. With Ben out of the picture with a shattered hand, J-Pac looked to move forward with strengthening his brand. While introducing a new haircut, suit, and business model for his career moving forward to potential investors and members of the press, J-Pac was attacked by an initially unidentified reporter sporting a cast on his hand. Hijacking the event, Ben Unhinged toppled the podium, dropped an elbow on it, and propelled into the audience. He informed J-Pac that he didn't care what any doctor or Commissioner Barkley said about his broken hand, it wasn't going to keep him out of action. Ben continued by telling his former ally that if he wants to bring chairs into the picture then they might as well bring everything else and the kitchen sink in a hell-raising Hardcore match. Seeing Ben's refusal to back down, Commissioner Barkley made the match but proclaimed that a special referee needed to be put in place to make sure that things didn't get too out of hand. Naturally, that decision will be left in the hands of the viewer. Will the special guest referee for this Hardcore match be Commissioner Barkley, Dave Hebner, or Mick Foley? After a heart-breaking loss to Shawn Michaels, Kurt Angle announced that he felt there was nothing left for him to do inside the confines of the wrestling ring. With that, Angle prepared to officially bid farewell to his storied career. However, before he could do so, he was interrupted by Ric Flair and Mark Jindrak. The conveyor of the Money in the Bank contract told the Olympic gold medalist that he wasn't going to let a washed-up old cripple like him steal more of his spotlight than he already has. Dejected, Angle left with a parting wave to his fans and ceded the spotlight to Jindrak. Among the many who would not stand for this was DEFAULT, who unveiled the results of his radical genetic therapy in a losing effort against Mark Jindrak at It Ain't Me. Due to the involvement of Ric Flair, DEFAULT demanded a rematch where the Nature Boy wouldn't be able to save Jindrak so easily. Commissioner Barkley signed the match, but felt that a rematch of this magnitude required raising the stakes. With that, Barkley declared that Mark Jindrak's Money in the Bank briefcase would be on the line at This Is YouTube Poop. Will the Mark-Out Moment Maker defend his golden opportunity against DEFAULT in a Submission, Ladder, or Iron Man match? Since becoming World Tag Team Champions, Undertaker and Kane have paved a path of destruction and cemented it with the broken souls of those who have opposed them. Meanwhile, Batista and Big Show have been interlocked in a heated dispute spawned from a United States Championship clash at Memorial Day Madness that ended abruptly when Big Show received a Batista Bomb through the announce desk. With the 500-pounder literally at Batista's throat for vengeance, Commissioner Barkley decided that the best way to keep this dispute from getting out of hand was for the two rivals to align as a team. To add incentive to this union, Barkley guaranteed the two powerhouses an opportunity at the coveted tag team titles. The Undertaker ominously informed this newly-formed tandem that he already dictates the soul of Kane, and that if they choose to challenge them, he will have no qualms with conquering their souls as well. Batista noted the similarities of the team, noting that he also calls the shots on a big, dumb, sack of dead weight. Big Show responded by claiming that he's been charging up his Christmas ham-sized fist for his most destructive knockout punch yet, and told Batista that he should pray that it ends up utilized on their opponents rather than his partner. With the challengers on different wavelengths, the well-oiled machine of the reigning champions looks to have a psychological advantage regardless of whether the match is a Tornado, Elimination, or Falls Count Anywhere tag team contest. However, if Big Show and Batista attempt to outdo each other, they could potentially find themselves leaving This Is YouTube Poop as the new World Tag Team Champions. After successfully defending the United States Championship against Chris Jericho, Sheamus was challenged by an unlikely adversary. Intercontinental Champion Chance, looking to add more bling to his collection, set his sights on the patriotic prize that Sheamus held firmly around his waist. However, before he could officially draw the white glove on the Celt, he was reminded that he owed Wing an opportunity at his championship as well. Noting the predicament, Commissioner Barkley agreed that both challengers had compelling claims to a title opportunity. With that in mind, it was decided that the fans would decide the fate of these three individuals. In a Triple Threat match, either the Intercontinental, the United States, or both championships will be decided between these three hungry combatants. Depending on the results, Sheamus or Chance could potentially leave This Is YouTube Poop with two titles. But perhaps most dangerous of all is the man with nothing to lose but everything to gain, Wing, who could possibly become a dual champion after walking in without any gold to his name. It all comes down to the final tally. Chris Jericho may have hit a snag in making an example out of Sheamus in the name of his newly-established Y2Justice movement, but he assured everyone via his Tumblr page that his resolve has never been stronger. That was, of course, until a mysterious social media account began targeting Jericho. Assuming the online identity of DiscoDude92, this anonymous assailant reigned down upon Y2J with the ferocity of one thousand keyboard warriors. Days later, Jericho would hold a small burial ceremony for his cellphone as he commemorated the deletion of his social media accounts. After demanding justice for this tragic loss, it was revealed that the mystery harasser was none other than The Red Head. The last we saw of this fiery fighter, he defeated Juan Slomo by countout at a recent Developmental Hell event. The furious Jericho's complexion could nearly match that of his adversary upon making this discovery. He noted that the world already knows who is under his mask, and he will expose him again to the world after defeating him at This Is YouTube Poop. The Red Head accepted a match, but said that he would only put his mask on the line if Jericho were to defend his hair. Y2J claimed that was a stupid idea, and instead threatened to put this name from the past into a retirement home. The Red Head countered this threat by suggesting that perhaps he and Jericho should just face off in a one-on-one singles match. This lack of stipulation infuriated Jericho the most, and before they knew it, they had established three voting options for match type in an entirely organic discourse.Regardless of the results, Jericho has promised that he will respect the voting process in the end. The Red Head will ride again at This Is YouTube Poop to take on Chris Jericho, but the kind of match they will compete in is entirely up to the votes. The match-up at It Ain't Me between Wrestler: Unstoppable and Iron Sheik saw The Secret Agent Man literally beaten into submission after a miscalculation by his companion Lita. However, the super-sized spy's loss wasn't entirely in vain. During the match, Wrestler: Unstoppable managed to swipe a ring from the hand of his opponent. Engraved on the inner band was a message, "If found, call SPOOK HQ - WW" along with a phone number with the extension -#02. After pondering who WW could be, Wrestler: Unstoppable speculated that the number belonged to Willy Wonka, a man whose operation the agent had been desperate to infiltrate for some time. However, with Lita's assistance, the message on the ring led them to tracking down one Winslow J. Wiley. With so much information already compromised, Winslow revealed to Wrestler: Unstoppable and Lita that he was the number-two man in a shadow organization known as SPOOK, a name chosen to reflect how the agency operates invisibly. It was chosen after the board of directors voted that that the previous name BLACK, in reference to the darkness of the shadows with which they operate in, was too potentially offensive. Winslow admitted that Sheik was under the orders of SPOOK's Number One when he cost Wrestler: Unstoppable the Money in the Bank briefcase, but informed him that he would be pardoned by his organization for his crimes against them if he gave up on Lita. Wrestler: Unstoppable refused to accept this ultimatum, unwilling to leave his lover or discover why he was cheated out of the biggest break in his career. Winslow politely accepted Unstoppable's reluctance to cooperate, but informed him that this meant that they would have to even the odds against he and Lita. At This Is YouTube Poop, Wrestler: Unstoppable's fate will be left in the hands of the voter. Will the man with the license to thrill rematch Iron Sheik, take on the new threat of Winslow J. Wiley, or face them both in a Handicap match? While one of the members of The Mullet Club will be selected to compete against Dynamite Derek for the World Heavyweight Title, the other two members of this ferocious faction will receive the opportunity to compete for the World Tag Team Championship. Looking to even up the score, as well as bring some prestige to their ailing record, Josh the Cat and Chewbacca were quick to nominate themselves for this match-up. But This Is YouTube Poop, and the tandem of Goldust and Diamondust were quick to remind The Shithouses of that. The debates between these two teams provoked a response from the bold and brash Kings of Crime, calling The Dust Busters has-beens and The Shithouses never-weres. Diaz and Kingpin made it perfectly clear that they weren't finished with their pursuit of the tag team titles that they parted ways with when defeated by Kane and The Undertaker. As these three teams bickered about who was most worthy of earning a championship match, Savage, Hall, and Steiner deviously played devil's advocate for their potential opponents and relished in knowing that these six would be more focused on each other rather than going into This Is YouTube Poop prepared for The Mullet Club. All the verbal politicking at the door, however, and the possible future World Tag Team Champions will be determined physically once the votes have been tallied. The question is, which teams will it be? Regardless of his methods, Rey Mysterio has managed to become the longest-tenured champion in SvR06. With mere weeks left before Mysterio holds the Cruiserweight Championship for an entire year, Rey has already begun resting on his laurels. However, his actions at It Ain't Me may have finally been the straw to break Commissioner Barkley's back. With members of the audience filling the role of guest assistant commissioner for This Is YouTube Poop, Barkley has decided to give fans the ultimate freedom by choosing any competitor in the world within the weight limits to challenge the reigning champion for the title. This individual could be a member of the SvR06 roster, the Arrested Developmental roster, a wrestler never-before-seen in SvR06, or someone who's never even had a match in their life! The power is in your hands. Rey Mysterio claims to represent the people, and now the people have the chance to say what they really think about him through his opponent. Results On a night where democracy reigned supreme, one could only expect nothing but chaos. And that’s precisely how This Is YouTube Poop began. Before the action in the ring could even commence, Commissioner Barkley was found in a dismantled state after a brief meeting with his assailant. The only word his quivering lips could manage to form was “Shark.” With the commissioner out of commission, anarchy was sure to follow. The opening contest was contested for an opportunity at the World Tag Team Championship. Per the selection of the fans, The Shithouses would comprise one of the two teams on a mission for gold. The other would be the two members of The Mullet Club not selected to compete against Dynamite Derek for the World Heavyweight Title. Those two individuals turned out to be Scott Hall and Scott Steiner. Once again exploiting the rules of tag team wrestling, the two Scotts managed to keep Josh the Cat from tagging in Chewbacca throughout the entire duration of the match. In no time, the ferocious feline was once again bested by seasoned skills of The Mullet Club. Wrestler: Unstoppable looked to even the score with the shadowy tormentors known as SPOOK. Before his match, he asked Lita to stay backstage for her own safety. However, the Secret Agent Man may have said otherwise had he known that the voting would lead to him competing in a Handicap match against both Iron Sheik and Winslow J. Wiley. Despite his undeniable tenacity, the bout quickly turned into a two-on-one assault on the superspy. Following a devastating combination of Sheik’s Camel Clutch followed by Winslow’s legdrop, Wrestler: Unstoppable was once again bested by the encapsulating powers of SPOOK. After numerous submissions for who should challenge Rey Mysterio for the Cruiserweight Championship, a verdict was reached. Making his first SvR06 appearance in years, Janosz Poha entered the squared circle to take a swing at the perpetual title reign of Rey Mysterio. Despite his relative inexperience, the Manhattan artiste held his own to the best of his abilities. When the momentum eventually shifted in his favor, a long-absent specter by the name of Vigo the Carpathian rematerialized and interjected himself into the title bout. Considering the storied history between Vigo and the challenger, it looked like Mysterio might not make it to a year as Cruiserweight Champion after all. However, in an unforeseen turn of events, Vigo turned his attention to Janosz. After flinging him about ringside, while the referee’s vision was obstructed by Mysterio’s incessant pandering, Vigo dragged Poha to the backstage area as the official awarded the champion the victory via countout. With the voting results in, it was decided that the United States and the Intercontinental Titles would both be defended in a Triple Threat match between Sheamus, Chance, and Wing. The contest embodied the spirit of the holiday season, three guys standing around punching each other. The bowling shoe-ugly bout reached its climax when Chance propelled his rival, Wing, to the outside of the ring only to turn into a Brogue Kick from the United States Champion. After pinning Chance, Sheamus made history by becoming the first-ever two-time Intercontinental Champion in SvR06 history as well as reclaiming his former label of United-continental Champion. With their storied friendship in shambles, Ben Unhinged and J-Pac made the ring to reflect their shattered alliance in a brutal Hardcore match. The voters had selected Commissioner Barkley to officiate this contest, but as he was physically unable to due to the events that transpired prior, Mick Foley filled in as he was the runner-up. With the Hardcore Legend overseeing the Hardcore match, Ben Unhinged fittingly sported a white covering on his hand in the form of a cast. The broken hand, almost symbolic of the bond between Ben and J-Pac, was an undeniable disadvantage for the Unhinged One. However, Ben managed to turn a weakness into a strength by converting his cast into a useful weapon. Ultimately, it was the direct blows to the head of J-Pac from the cast that would ironically lead to the downfall of the man who injured the hand in the first place. With time, the wounds that both men endured in this battle will heal. But the scars of a fractured friendship are certain to remain fresh for some time. Amongst the mayhem entered Just Christian, who admitted that he wouldn’t ordinarily issue his own challenges. But given that his manager, Ric Flair, wasn’t with him, he was going to take the opportunity to call out the so-called American hero Muhammad Hassan. Hassan appeared, seemingly willing to accept. However, he declined, noting that without Flair in his corner, Just Christian wouldn’t even be worth making an example out of. He likened his chances of winning against him to the Maple Leafs winning the Stanley Cup: zero. Hassan left Just Christian in the ring to sulk, once again upstaging a foreign competitor. After weeks of online torment, Chris Jericho finally got the chance to get his hands on The Red Head. As determined by the voting process, the two would compete in a plain old, standard Singles match. Jericho’s arsenal was arguably unmatched throughout the match-up, the head games by his opponent seemed to provide a looming distraction for the flag-bearer of the Y2Justice movement. In the ultimate troll on Jericho, The Red Head applied an inside cradle and small package combination to defeat Y2J. The objective, one-and-only Red Head scored a big victory in his comeback and left Chris Jericho is a triggered state. After being ordered to put their differences aside, Batista and Big Show aligned to challenge The Undertaker and Kane for the World Tag Team Titles under Tornado Tag rules. The two powerhouses provided great physical opposition for the champions. However, the tandem was unable to put their differences aside and work cohesively. With Batista being chokeslammed from the top rope and Big Show on the receiving end of an earth-shattering Last Ride, Kane and The Undertaker once again held their championship belts high as they continued their run as the most destructive tag team in SvR06 history. Once again, the Money in the Bank briefcase was suspended high above the ring as the fans voted that Mark Jindrak defend his title opportunity against DEFAULT in a Ladder match. DEFAULT matched Jindrak’s athleticism early on, continuously putting his body on the line for a chance to once again hold the World Heavyweight Championship. At the peak of a ladder, mere claw-tips away for converting dream into reality, DEFAULT was disrupted by Jindrak’s manager Ric Flair. After knocking DEFAULT to the ground below, the Nature Boy attempted to retrieve the case for his associate. However, he was stopped by the arrival of Kurt Angle. The Olympic gold medalist thwarted Flair’s plot, but consequently found himself on the receiving end of the Figure-4 leg lock. With Angle tied down by the hold, Jindrak managed to incapacitate DEFAULT and ascend to the top of a ladder to take possession of his golden opportunity. As the potential future of the World Heavyweight Title was determined, its present was decided between Dynamite Derek and The Mullet Club’s “Macho Man” Randy Savage. His sights set on the gold, Savage pulled no punches in his efforts to bring the first piece of merchandise to his team. On the other hand, Dynamite Derek hadn’t forgotten the emergence of The Mullet Club and channeled that energy into resisting the onslaught of his opponent. The fast-paced battle seemed all but over when Macho Man delivered an epitomizing elbow drop on The Dark Luminary. Yet in a miraculous moment of exertion, Dynamite Derek kicked out and fought back to deliver two explosive Boom Goes the Dynamites. In the culmination of a night of action, Brock Lesnar challenged The Shark in a fight that the SvR06 electorate decided to be The Shark’s specialty First Blood match. Immediately after the bell ring, Walter P. Wiley entered the ring and went toe-to-toe with the massive Shark. He then turned to face his client, the man he brought into SvR06, and struck him across the face. Shocked by this unanticipated turn of events, Lesnar instinctively pummeled Walter with a series of blows. With his attention diverted, The Shark took action and relentlessly lashed out at Lesnar. In animalistic fashion, The Shark delivered continuous shots to Brock’s skull with anything that wasn’t tied down. Ultimately, it was concussive strike with the steel steps that spilled Lesnar’s blood before he could even mount any offense. One can only speculate why Walter would turn on his long-time ally, but it goes without question that we have never seen Brock Lesnar dominated quite like this before.